Awake
by Veldeia
Summary: Ten times Rush woke up.
1. Justice

**Author's Note:** I haven't written any fic in quite a while, and I'm more than a bit rusty. Basically this is a bit of exercise: ten directly episode-related drabbles with a common theme, exactly 100 words each. I'm hoping to write a proper long SGU story one of these days, because that (or more precisely Rush) is my latest obsession, and there isn't nearly enough SGU fic around.

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**1. Justice**

He woke up to the taste of blood, sand and defeat. Ignoring the dizziness, he got up, and gazed at the dark sky filled with alien stars. He must've been unconscious for hours.

Slowly, the situation began to sink in. He was alone – more so than anyone had ever been, stranded on an alien world in an alien galaxy. A truly unnerving thought.

He knew everyone on Destiny now considered him dead, but he wasn't, and he wouldn't give up that easily. Destiny was his. He would make it back, or die trying. He headed towards the wrecked ship.


	2. Space

**2. Space**

He could barely tell the difference between wakefulness and sleep, although his darkest dreams couldn't compare to the nightmare that was reality. The blue demons tormented him relentlessly, mercilessly, testing the limits of his body and mind, extracting his deepest secrets, making him feel more naked than he would have thought possible.

He knew for sure that he wasn't asleep when the alien shattered the glass of his tank. He could never have imagined one of them being on his side.

With the courage of a man who had nothing left to lose, he stood up to face the devil.


	3. Divided

**3. Divided**

The burning pain in his chest forced him to full consciousness. Every breath made it worse.

He cleared his throat, and TJ was at his side instantly. "How are you feeling?"

"How do you think I'm feeling?" His voice was so weak it sounded more miserable than sarcastic. "Did you get it?"

"Yeah. It's gone, and you're going to be fine."

"Hah." He'd been sure the transmitter had been placed so that tampering with it would kill him.

He was alive, and free. Maybe, this once, it was a good thing his plans had failed.


	4. Faith

**4. Faith**

He slept fitfully, and didn't feel any better afterwards. He rested his hand on the wound. What he wouldn't give for proper pain medication. Was it normal to feel this bad? What were the odds of surviving such an operation without complications? Was he really going to heal completely?

He had too much time to think. At least three days of bed rest, TJ had said. He'd go mad! Not to mention that they wouldn't be able to keep Destiny functional that long without him.

He was going to feel awful anyway. He could just as well do something useful.


	5. Human

**5. Human**

Behind the door was chaos.

Gloria, his beloved Gloria, was gone, again, and none of the physical pain he felt meant anything compared to that. And they wanted him to, what, instantly stop Destiny from going into FTL, when all he had was one clue? It was all too much.

They didn't like him, didn't even try to understand him, and still they expected him to perform miracle after another to save them all. They thought he was selfish, but how were they any different, gathering around him as if they cared?

"I can't do that," he told them.


	6. Lost

**6. Lost**

He checked the time. Five hours. The longest sleep he'd had in days. No wonder – running through all those planets had taken its toll.

In retrospect, the dream had been laughably obvious. He'd been stuck in a maze of narrow corridors and small stargates, chasing Eli, who was always just out of reach, both of them pursued by the aliens that still haunted him every time he closed his eyes.

He didn't blame himself for anything. There was no point. He had done all he could, and feeling guilty wouldn't help anyone. Unfortunately, his subconscious didn't seem to agree.


	7. Sabotage

**7. Sabotage**

Pathetically, his first thought was that, if things had gone differently, Mandy could've been sleeping next to him. He knew he'd made the right choice pulling back. Still, it would be a lie to say that he wouldn't have wanted it. Not sex, but simply to have someone there to hold him, to keep the nightmares away. Maybe, if they hadn't been interrupted, if they'd had more time...

He missed her already. Not because she was a bright and beautiful young woman who liked him more than he deserved, but because he'd enjoyed having someone to talk to. A friend.


	8. Pain

**8. Pain**

It was like magic: one moment he was in Hell, strapped to the table, surrounded by blue devils, the next, it was Destiny's infirmary and a team of soldiers holding him still. At first he thought it was a mind trick, but soon he realised the alien attack had made no sense at all.

He stopped struggling. "What's happening?"

"A tick was causing you to hallucinate," TJ answered him. "I've removed it. You're safe."

Safe? He wouldn't go quite that far. Still, even though he hadn't really left the ship, he felt like he'd just come home.


	9. Subversion

**9. Subversion**

He came to lying on the floor, with heavy handcuffs around his wrists. Going by the familiar humming sound, he guessed he was on a ship. He still felt shaky from whatever they'd hit him with, but he couldn't waste time being sorry for himself.

He'd have to think fast to survive, let alone to get any useful information. He had only his wits and a few vague memories from Telford to go on. Those, and the perfect disguise that had already let him down. Maybe it could still be of some use. He needed to pick his words carefully.


	10. Incursion

**10. Incursion**

He woke up gasping for air. He'd been sure he was dying, not Telford's body, but his real one. He had no idea what was going on on Destiny. He'd felt like he was suffocating. Obviously, the Lucian Alliance hadn't attacked yet, so what had gone wrong?

He wondered what state his body would be in once they switched back – as if Telford's wasn't bad enough. He was tired and sick, and desperate.

"Hey, he's conscious," one of the guards noted.

He'd barely had enough time to catch his breath before they hauled him up to his feet.


End file.
